It’s all about relationships. South Africans put a high premium on relationships–talking, interacting, and simply being together. Hospitality is the context for relationships in Africa, and spontaneity is a vital part. It’s normal and expected to stop in uninvited at people’s homes. Waiting for an invitation is too formal.

Thinking Collectivistically

South Africans do not think individualistically, but collectivistically–as a member of a group. While independence is an important value to Westerners, interdependence is of higher value to South Africans.

Most Western children are taught from the time they are small, “You are an individual. Learn to think for yourself.” Children from these countries know that they should have an opinion and be able to defend it. Individuality and independence are affirmed as good qualities. In Africa, the opposite is true. Children are taught, “You belong. You belong to a family, to a tribe, to a village. Your actions reflect on the whole group. You must behave in a way that brings honor, not shame, to the family name. We all take care of each other. No one stands alone.” Africans draw their identity not from their individualism, but from the community to which they belong.

Thoughts About Time

In Africa, time is viewed not so much in terms of hours, minutes, and seconds, but in seasons: when crops are planted and harvested, and the timeliness of rain and sun. The days are not divided into small increments but are seen as opportunities to do the timely thing, which could be planting, helping a neighbor, playing with a child, or welcoming a visitor. The unexpected friend dropping by will get priority over a scheduled appointment. The appointment will be kept, but usually late, after the relationship is properly respected.

Indirectly Speaking

South Africans speak much more indirectly than Westerners do. Being indirect is a way to avoid offending the other person, keeping a friendly atmosphere, and making sure that one’s own preference is not imposed on someone else. At times it seems as though they are beating around the bush, but it is simply the style of communication that is prevalent in their culture. Words are used as a means of establishing a pleasant atmosphere. The literal meaning of the words is not nearly as important as the contact established by their use. All communication has one goal: to promote a friendly environment.